I am a woman with dark humour. The only thing darker than the jokes I love is my soul. I make fun of things that most people would find offensive and disgusting. I take amusement in watching the suffering of others. Send me a cup of tea if you also t...

It's not about the size of the "ship" or the motion of the ocean for me. It's whether the bloke can stay up long enough for me to make a mess all over myself. Nothing gets me going like a gent who can keep his prick hard for as long as I can ride him...

Since I am young, sweet, and polite, most people are surprised to find out how much of a party girl I am. Yes, I know how to be responsible while at work and in public, but once I get a few shots of alcohol in me? I turn into one of the wildest lass ...

One day, I wish to be with a lad who would treasure me and keep me safe as if I’m an expensive jewelry. I want someone who would look past my physical features, specifically, my knob, and love me as if I’m a real woman.

Fingers through hair, legs wrapped around a dishy man's waist, and rocking until my eyes roll back-- that's how I like it. I want to feel how starved a bloke is for a taste of me. Touching me like it's the very first time.