Here's something that might excite you. My ass is now open for business. If you want to try out what this tight booty has to offer, send me your resume with the funniest joke you know. Short-listed applicants will then be interviewed through chat.

Just one funny babe who never fails to make any lad laugh like a drain whenever they hear my jokes. Aside from my great sense of humour, I also have great skills in turning soft and asleep knobs into hard and throbbing ones.

I love letting out flirty giggles when I'm with someone I'm attracted to. And when there are only the two of us in the room, I can't help but find my way to his arousing bulge. I tease it with my fingers before I worship it with my tongue.

A genuine gal who is just looking to find a bloke to chase the loneliness away. Very witty and always ready to banter, never gonna have a boring moment with me. Bonus fact: I don't have a gag reflex (trust me, I did an experiment just to check).

I can't help but feel a little bit offended when a lad reads this but doesn't send me anything. I mean, what's stopping you from sending me a message? Am I not that attractive for you? Or maybe you find me a bit intimidating or something.